Here’s to Love!

This weekend I was a part of something I never saw coming. Ever since I was in my cousin’s wedding when I was 13 or 14 as a junior bridesmaid, I thought about being in my sister’s wedding one day or maybe even another close friend’s.

But this weekend, I was in a wedding, but I wasn’t a bridesmaid. In fact—there was no bride. I stood next to Ricky Floyd as a groomslady as he married the love of his life.

If you would have asked me in high school, if I believed in gay marriage or gay anything, I likely wouldn’t have had an answer. At Ricky’s rehearsal dinner this weekend, I admitted that prior to meeting Ricky, I was actually a little homophobic. I don’t necessarily recall homophobia ever being taught to me, but somewhere, at some point, I learned that being gay was wrong—it was something, as Christians, we don’t believe in.

As I laid in my hotel bed following Ricky’s wedding, I was thumbing through twitter and came across the perfect response to that notion:

You can’t choose to not “believe in” homosexuality. It’s not God, Santa Claus, or a conspiracy theory lmao, it’s indisputably real lmao (@Lexual_)

Between my excitement and tears this weekend, I was never able to formulate a way to actually articulately tell Ricky and Alex how much they have truly positively impacted my life. Had I not met, Ricky and Alex in 2009, I undoubtedly believe that I would be a different (and probably shitty) person.

Ricky was one of my first real friends at the University of Mississippi (Ole Miss). Both freshmen, we met in the Student Union at some event the Alpha’s were hosting. Realizing that we lived in the same residence hall, we immediately became fast friends—and I would be reminisced if I didn’t mention that I definitely had quite the crush on Ricky. Not long after meeting Ricky, he introduced me to Alex and me, being the most oblivious person ever, had no idea what Ricky was trying to tell me.

But what I know now was that over the course of 3-4 hours, I was about to decide the person I was going to be—and they didn’t give me much time to decide. Hours later, we were in a car headed to a gay club in Memphis and so the journey began.

Though I believe I decided what type of person I was going to be that night, I wasn’t always the best of friend to Ricky and Alex. Just as people make jokes about having one black friend doesn’t make you an expert on black identity development and the black experience, choosing to love and accept Ricky and Alex didn’t make me the ally of the year. I made a lot of mistakes—I still said hurtful things and for those, I am still ashamed. I can remember one day in particular where I distinctively remember asking Ricky if he could not be gay for like 5 minutes (not my proudest moment). I took sides in their break ups and I honestly sometimes didn’t know how to be a supportive friend. I’m not really sure how or why, but Ricky and Alex still choose to forgive me.

They allowed me to be a part of this very special day for them and I can truly say that including me in this day has been one of the greatest honors I have ever received. I would have never imagined myself worthy enough to stand next them or worthy enough to witness such a display of God’s immaculacy.

Everyone has their right to believe in whatever they would like. I believe in love and through Ricky and Alex’s love, I believe in God. I believe that God created that love and all love. Watching Ricky and Alex choose to love each other restores my faith in God and love more than I would have ever imagined. For me, it’s all too easy to doubt love—to mistrust it—to be skeptical. But Ricky and Alex has shown me that it’s real and it’s worth it. I needed that reminder more than ever and now I have yet another moment to appreciate Ricky and Alex for positively impacting my life. So here’s to your love–may it be everlasting!